Alright, running check. I feel better. So...yeah blog. First let me start by saying I did this once and didn't continue. I'll see if I can do better this time around. Me - married, one kid, dog, cat, really really old house, scientist, swimmer, biker, runner. Sometimes I just swim, or just bike, or just run, sometimes I combine them together!
So, this blog will be a bit of therapy for me and possibly entertaining for you. I'm writing today because I am just bogged down with guilt and I'm hoping that I can work through some of that. I'm sure its a common feeling, especially among mothers, working mothers, and generally people who have obligations but live in a time poverty. Let me assure you - I am verry lucky and I know it. I have a good job, great marriage, great kid - even my dog is super adorbs...but...in order to do all things I need to do and frankly want to do, I don't do other things. I knowingly prioritize things, activities and people and sometimes some activities or people or things end up at the bottom of the list. And I feel bad about that. Especially when the person on the bottom of the list cannot fathom how they got there. I want to have time to do everything, be everything to everyone - but I can't - time poverty.
I just finished my first IronMan 70.3 race in beautiful Lake Placid, NY. I signed up a year ago, not knowing that I would be able to do it. I was a newly minted triathlete and while its something I wanted to do, I just didn't know I had it in me. But, I committed and set out to do it. Training for an event like that is VERY time consuming. You must train, sometimes for many hours. You may have to leave your family in order to that. You may not have time to clean the house, or do laundry, or even be a good person anymore. Hopefully, you have a great partner who can do and be all of those things for you.
So, specifically there is a family (my side) get together coming up and I can't go. My in-laws are in town that weekend. Actually this reason has NOTHING to do with triathlons or races! Actually that makes me feel better (see therapy!). However, my mother is bereft that I can't make it. "You never visit." Not true - I was there three weeks ago while I did a triathlon in MA. I stayed overnight, we celebrated my daughters birthday. I was there a month and a half before that to celebrate a cousin's baby shower. Prior to that - Easter. But, I digress. So you see, I managed to fit in a number of family visits despite a really heavy training schedule. So, yeah. Mother - you were not at the bottom of the list - you just think you are. Or you want to guilt me into feeling that you are. I'm doing a race tomorrow. I could visit, but I won't. And I won't feel guilty about that. How's that for therapy? :)
